fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
me + whiskey = a bad person
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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