Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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