i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
