Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize