i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
