The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
