Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize