Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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