I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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