she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
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we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
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Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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