How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
