i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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