I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
