i was rollin on her like bob the builder
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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