im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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