do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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