She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
