O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
