if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
