i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
