508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
