Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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