I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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