when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
