this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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