Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
