I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So squirting runs in the family.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
