the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize