Cold hands, warm shart.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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