I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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