Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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