with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
