can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
