Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
