I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize