Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
