As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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