the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
