Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
