:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
