Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
