My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
