I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
