I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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