this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
