you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
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I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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