Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
