She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
