He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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