No stitches, just platelets and will power
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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