you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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