I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she peed on how many people?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
