Sponge bath it is.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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