based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
