Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
