It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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