eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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