not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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