I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
